It'll Never Be the Same A Trilogy!
by Charmed416
Summary: A trilogy stemming off an act of violence not of the supernatural world. How do Prue, Piper, and Phoebe react? Also added: an ending to this horriffic and guy wrenching story. Please R
1. Part One: The Rape

"Piper, I swear to God! Your food, especially this Creme Brulee, is almost orgasmic!" Phoebe exclaimed as she took another spoonful. Prue nodded in agreement, but continued eating instead of talking. Piper smiled.  
  
"Well, I am just glad I was there to fulfill your sexual needs, Phoebe," Piper laughed. Phoebe and Prue giggled.  
  
"You know, if someone had walked in on that little excerpt of this conversation, it would sound very very very bad," Prue said.  
  
"Trust me. It did." Leo had walked into the kitchen, his presence turning the sisters' faces red with embarrassment. Piper started to explain, but he held up his hands to stop her. "I don't think I want to know."  
  
"How long have you been standing there?" Phoebe asked with a hint of amusement.  
  
"Long enough," Leo retorted, trying to act disgusted but it just came off as though he was constipated. Piper laughed at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek.  
  
"Do you want some?" Piper said, but instantly regretted it. She had meant the Creme Brulee, but she knew her gutter-minded sisters would take it the wrong way. Her intuition was right.  
  
"Jeez Piper, wait until you get in the bedroom for God's sake!" Phoebe giggled. Leo shook his head with a grin.  
  
"No, I don't want any Creme Brulee. I can only be here a few minutes before I have to leave again. It's total chaos 'up there' and I want to know why."  
  
"Well, if you are only going to be here for a few minutes, we had better 'give you some' quickly..." Piper said and wrapped her arms around Leo. They started to kiss, soon forgetting that Phoebe and Prue were still in the room. Finally, the constant lip smacking noises got to Prue.  
  
"You know, if this Creme Brulee wasn't so good, I'd throw up!"  
  
"Well, too bad. You're just going to have to watch!" Piper exclaimed and returned to kissing Leo.  
  
After a few minutes of kissing and listening to Prue and Phoebe's wise cracks, Leo heard the little chimes that signaled the request of his presence 'up there'. He gave Piper one more quick kiss.  
  
"I have to go; 'they're' calling," he said reluctantly. Piper frowned.  
  
Are you coming back later tonight?" she asked. Leo nodded and orbed out. She walked back over to her sisters who were finishing up their bowls of Creme Brulee.  
  
"That was just like one of those corny romance novels," Phoebe pretended to gag. Piper laughed.  
  
"Where's your man?" she asked, trying to change the subject.  
  
"I'm meeting him later tonight," Phoebe responded. She knew her sister was trying to get the subject off topic so she decided to bring it back. "You see, I have the decency to make out somewhere other than in front of my sisters."  
  
"Since when?" Prue retorted sarcastically. Phoebe playfully smacked her oldest sister. They continued on with their antics as they helped Piper clean up.  
  
"Let's go shopping!" Phoebe blurted out unexpectantly.  
  
"What time is it?" asked Prue.  
  
"Its only 6 o'clock. Cole's not picking me up until 9 o'clock so we have plenty of time. Come on, even if we have to limit it to window- it would be a perfect ending to a great meal," she said, nodding to 'Chef' Piper.  
  
"Oh, OK," Prue said reluctantly and stood up, rubbing her full, though flat stomach. Phoebe squealed in delight and went to go get her purse. Piper took off her apron and they all got ready to leave.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
As always, when the sisters got to the mall, they all wanted to go to different places; Phoebe wanted to go look at shoes, Prue wanted to look at outfits and photography supplies, and Piper wanted to look for cooking utensils and a new outfit to wear to P3.  
  
"I suggested this little trip!" Phoebe argued, "So we have to go to the shoe shops first."  
  
"I don't want to look for shoes," Prue shrugged. Phoebe started to get abnormally angry.  
  
"Fine, you go and look for your little outfit. Its not like you have enough!" Phoebe started. "How about you Piper?"  
  
Piper gave her an awkward smile. "Well, I did want to go and look for a new outfit too and go to the cooking store..." she answered sheepishly. Piper hated to get dragged in the middle of these fights between her sisters.  
  
Phoebe sighed in disappointment and anger. "Fine. You two go and look at your pretty little clothes. I am going by myself." Phoebe turned and stormed down the sidewalk of the mall towards the shoe section. The two remaining sisters looked at each other and shrugged. It was no big deal...  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
But it was a big deal to Phoebe. She knew she had been overly stubborn and should have at least told her sisters of the premonition she had as she grabbed her purse at the manor, but she couldn't help herself. Once she had lost sight of her sisters on the sidewalk, Phoebe realized the trouble she was really in. Her premonition had been of someone grabbing her from behind, somewhere in the mall.  
  
'Well,' she though, 'I will just have to avoid situations like that and tell them later.'  
  
Phoebe walked into about three different shoe shops without any problems, but that all changed when she was at the forth, buying these cute little black heels that would go with her favorite dress (actually it was Prue's, but she always borrowed it). As she was walking out of that store with her purchase, Phoebe heard a scream from around the corner in a little alley. Without thinking, Phoebe ran towards the source of the scream.  
  
When she got there, a young woman with darkish blonde hair was on the ground with some guy straddling her- restraining her hands with his hand and covering her mouth with his other. Phoebe knew she had to act fast.  
  
"Hey! Asshole! Get your damn hands off her!" Phoebe yelled at him, but still kept her distance. It was times like these when she wished she had an active power like her sisters other than levitation- it did nothing for her in these types of situations. The man turned, startled, and glared at Phoebe. She tried to memorize his face and general build so she could tell the police later- one thing she learned in New York.  
  
Suddenly, the man rolled off the woman, picked her up, and threw her against the brick wall. She fell to the ground in an unconscious heap. Before it could register in Phoebe's head what was happening, the man ran forward and grabbed Phoebe, pulling her against him and covering her mouth with his grimey hand. She could smell his sweat and dirtiness... could hear his heavy breathing and grunts as she fought against him... could see the sidewalk get smaller and smaller as he took her deeper into the alley. He fought her to the ground, positioning her the same way he did the other woman- with her hands held over her head with one of his hands and her mouth covered with his other hand. Phoebe could hardly breath because his hand was partly covering her nose as well as her mouth and all of his weight was on her chest where he was straddling. Her vision had just started to blur when he took his hand off her mouth. She tried to take a deep breath, but quickly found she could only take short, unsatisfying gasps.  
  
"OK you little slut, don't you scream now," he barked at her. He grabbed in his pocket and pulled out what appeared to be a leather belt and handkerchief. Phoebe's eyes grew wide in fear and her mouth opened to emit a scream, but he slapped down his hand back over her mouth. She could taste the blood pour into her mouth.  
  
"Don't you fucking scream you little bitch. It'll hurt more if you do," he said gruffly and hesitantly took his hand away from her mouth when she nodded to say that she would comply. He proceeded to strap her wrists together with the belt and attached them the large garbage bin behind her. Then he stuffed the handkerchief into her mouth, saying, "Just incase." Phoebe just closed her eyes. What else could she do? In the darkness of her mind, she could hear the unmistakable sound of a zipper being unzipped and the snap of a pair of jeans being unsnapped. Phoebe could feel the shift of his weight as he struggled to remove his pants; as he struggled to remove hers. The rough cement scraped her lower back and legs. She opened her eyes and stared up into the night sky, being careful not to look anywhere near her attacker and soon to be rapist. Just as she spotted a shooting star, a shooting pain filled her as he made his first thrust. The pain shot through her like a burning heat, and even though she shut her eyes, she could still see the stars; though these stars were pain enduced and dotted the darkness of her eyelids. Phoebe moaned in pain which only enticed the man even more. He moved faster and harder now. Silent tears streamed down her cheeks as she tried to think of anything except the escrutiating pain, but it couldn't be pushed away.  
  
Phoebe turned her head sideways and noticed she could still see the street and sidewalk she had been walking on what seemed like an eternity ago. She felt herself start to fantasize about seeing her sisters walking on that street, them seeing her, and running to help. But her dream was cut short as her attacker ripped open her blouse and tore off her bra. She again tried to push what exactly he was horribly doing to her, but there was nothing that could keep her from feeling the full brunt of the pain and the rush of emotions.  
  
Though she didn't think he could, her attacker thrust faster and rougher, his dirty hands all over her. Phoebe could hear him breath very heavy, almost straining to get enough air to satisfy him as he worked so hard to rape her. It was then she realized she had been holding her breath. She let it out and tried to breath normally, but her chest heaved and she couldn't seem to get any air in.  
  
Phoebe basically, at that point, had given up all hope that she would survive. Both Phoebe and her attacked knew she had saw and memorized his face; it would only be an unnecessary risk to let her live. With that in mind, she started to think of everyone close to her that she would never see again. She started to think of Prue... of Piper... of Cole... of Leo... What would they do? Think?  
  
Before she could let her mind wander any more, he apparently finished and rolled off her. Phoebe suddenly had a fleeting hope- this was her chance. She painfully turned over onto her knees. Her whole lower body burned, but she bit her now fat lip and sucked up the pain. Her eyes were focused on the prize- the sidewalk. She didn't care about how her wrists were tied, or how she was almost completely naked, or about the rag in her mouth; she cared about nothing except for that sidewalk... her heaven for the moment.  
  
Suddenly, she felt her hair being yanked back and the next thing she knew she was back on the ground and her attacker was looming over her.  
  
"Where the hell do you think you're going you little slut?!" he said, still gasping for air. Phoebe shook her head, not knowing how to respond. It was then he started to beat her. "We... have... to... make... sure... you... don't... talk... don't... we?!" he said between hits and punches. Phoebe's vision went blurry and the last thing she saw was his face looking into her eyes; a face that would haunt her until she died. She just hoped that that peace in death would come soon.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Prue finally was able to drag Piper out of the culinary shop. It was 8:30pm.  
  
"My God, Piper! And you say I was bad when it came to shopping?! Look at you! You spent over an hour in there!"  
  
Piper grinned and raised her eyebrows. "I know I should have stayed longer," she said jokingly. Prue playfully hit her, but then turned a bit more serious.  
  
"Where do you think Phoebe is? Should we go looking for her to give her a ride home or do you think she already walked there, being the stubborn sister she is?"  
  
Piper shook her head. "I don't know. Maybe we should go and take a quick look around near the general vicinity of the shoe shops and... No, wait!" Piper interrupted herself. "Why don't you just astrial project back to the manor. If she's there we can leave and if she's not then we look. Simple as that."  
  
"OK," Prue said reluctantly. She and Piper moved to a less conspicuous place, away from people and onlookers, and Prue astrial projected. Piper tapped her foot and critically watched her sister. After what seemed like 10 minutes, Piper saw Prue's body jerk as if she had just caught herself falling asleep.  
  
"So?" Piper asked, but Prue held up her hand. The disorientation was always hard to deal with whenever she came back to her body after astrial projecting. After a few seconds, Prue opened her eyes.  
  
"Sorry, but I couldn't talk right away," Prue said. "But she wasn't there. Do you want to go look?"  
  
Piper sighed. "Yeah, I guess." They started walking towards the general direction of the shoe shops. They searched the shops for about an hour before they gave up.  
  
"OK, I know she is stubborn, but is she really this stubborn?"  
  
"It's Phoebe we're talking about Piper!" Prue laughed, but inside Prue was getting worried. Phoebe usually came around and found them after they got into shopping arguments, not the other way around. They kept walking until Prue felt a hand on her shoulder. Both Prue and Piper turned around and came face to face with Cole.  
  
"Cole! What are you doing here?" Pier asked.  
  
"Well, I was supposed to pick up Phoebe at 9, but it is almost 10 now and Phoebe isn't usually this late," he explained.  
  
"How did you know to come here?" Prue felt her worry increase.  
  
"Whenever I want to go somewhere by shimmering, I have to sense where I want to go or who I want to see." Cole shrugged. "I tried to sense Phoebe and where she was, but I couldn't get anything from her so I figured my best bet was to shimmer to you guys."  
  
Prue's forehead scrunched up again. Something just wasn't right. "You know what?" she voiced her concern, "I am going to astrial project again and scribe for her. I don't have a good feeling about this." PIper and Cole nodded and they all rushed over to a quiet place for Prue to astrial project.  
  
After a few more minutes, Prue came back and reported her findings. "I had to try it 4 times before it worked, and even then the crystal was really slow. It stopped on the mall, so I put a map of the mall down to narrow it down, but it wouldn't work at all then. Something is really wrong."  
  
Well, then we ought to get looking," Piper said and the three of them started walking in and out of stores.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Meanwhile, Phoebe was just coming to back in the alley. For one fleeting second, she forgot what had happened but realized all too soon that it wasn't just some horrible nightmare. The pain was still there, strong as ever. It was so intense that she couldn't think of anything else for a moment. Then, a thought hit her.  
  
"Leo... Leo..." she whispered, but even she knew it wasn't loud enough. Phoebe shut her eyes and tried to open them, but found it difficult. Her eyes were so swollen that they would hardly lift again. So, instead she listened tot he sounds around her. Suddenly, there was a rustling noise to her right. Phoebe's head turned fast and she struggled hard to get her eyes opened. If it was her attacker again, she wanted to know before he could do anything more to her so she could somehow prepare. Instead of him, Phoebe barely made out with her blurry vision the first girl who she had saved start to get up from where she had been laying on the floor. She seemed to be in much better shape than Phoebe; Phoebe could at least see that much. Giving in, she closed her eyes again.  
  
"Please," Phoebe whispered, "Help."  
  
The woman rushed over. "Oh my God!" came her whisper. The girl didn't what to do. She started to say something else, but Phoebe stopped her with a 'ssshh'. Phoebe listened hard to the sounds of the street where she heard:  
  
"Cole, can you try shimmering again?" It was Piper's voice!  
  
Then Cole- "I've been trying to sense her all night! Wait! Hold on!"  
  
What?! Do you sense her?" Prue's voice also floated to Phoebe's ears. For the first time since she had been attacked, Phoebe felt some hope flutter in her stomach and stay there. She grabbed the woman's hands.  
  
"I can hear my sisters and boyfriend on the street. Just go out there and yell the name Prue," Phoebe whispered hurriedly. The woman shook her head in understanding and ran towards the street. Phoebe's exertion, however, left her weak. She fought consciousness as she strained to listen for her sisters.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
Prue, Piper, and Cole were giving up hope and gaining fear. It was 10:30 and still no sign of Phoebe.  
  
"Cole, can you try simmering again?" Piper asked as they walked past the 4th shoe store.  
  
"I've been trying to sense her all night!" But then he felt a tingle. "Wait! Hold on!"  
  
"What?! Do you sense something?" Prue asked. Finally, something!  
  
"I don't know," Cole answered. "I think so, but it wasn't strong enough to shimmer to." He hung his head in disappointment.  
  
"Damnit!" Piper erupted and plopped down on a nearby bench, hopeless. Prue started over.  
  
All of a sudden, a voice called out from behind them. "Prue?!" it screamed uncertainly. Prue turned around and searched for who had shouted her name. She spotted a woman who was looking all around, clueless to as what was going on except that she was looking for someone. She also noticed the woman was bleeding. Prue rushed over to her, Cole and Piper close behind.  
  
"I'm Prue! What happened?" Prue asked, though she didn't want an answer. They had enough to deal with and didn't have time to go on demon hunts...  
  
"Oh God. You have to come now. Your sister, uh, I don't know her name..." the woman rambled frantically. That was definitely not the answer Prue, Piper, and Cole were expecting. The woman gave up trying to speak and instead led the three to the alley where they got their first look at Phoebe.  
  
She was laying on the ground, almost completely naked except for some torn pieces of clothing hanging from her arms- what was left of her shirt. She was bloody around her face, abdomen and legs. Her hands were tied with a belt and there was a discarded rag next to her beaten face that had obviously been a gag.  
  
Cole shut his eyes. He couldn't take anymore. He felt bile rise in his throat and ran to the dumpster to throw up. Piper could only stare. It didn't register yet- she was still in shock. How could someone do that? Prue, on the other hand, rushed over to her baby sister.  
  
"Phoebe, sweety, talk to me," Prue's voice cracked, but she wouldn't let herself cry. She couldn't. Phoebe mumbled a reply but Prue couldn't understand what she had said. Prue wanted to cover up her baby with something, anything; Phoebe looked to vulnerable.  
  
"Cole. Cole!" Prue shouted. Cole slowly got up from behind the dumpster, wiping his mouth. He wouldn't look over, though.  
  
"What?" came his shaky voice.  
  
"Give me your jacket. We have to cover her up." Prue could feel herself start to cry, but tried relentlessly to cover it up. Cole took off his coat and threw it to Prue, who tenderly cradled Phoebe like a small child and covered her.  
  
"Piper!" Prue said sternly. Piper jumped almost two feet into the air and looked at Prue blankly. "See if you can get Leo." Piper nodded blindly and started calling his name.  
  
"I am going to get some help," the woman, who Prue had already forgotten about, said as she ran for the street. Piper kept calling Leo, but he did not come.  
  
"OK, then Piper, can you help me over here?" Prue asked. Piper looked in Prue's eyes- she could see the fear. Piper walked over and knelt beside her sisters. Phoebe moved slightly and struggled to open her eyes. Though her vision was blurry, she could tell her sisters were there. Relief, like nothing she had ever felt before, washed over her and she snuggled as close as she could into her sisters arms. She finally let her guard down and allowed herself to fall asleep.  
  
Prue and Piper noticed the addition of dead weight. "Oh God, is she-?" Piper asked, fearing the end of the question and the answer that might ensue.  
  
"No, I think she just went to sleep," Prue answered. She had at first thought the same thought. She closed her eyes and tried to think. "OK, what should we do? Shimmer her back to the manor and wait for Leo or wait for the cops?"  
  
But, in the distance, they could all hear the sirens of the fast approaching authorities. "That's our answer," Prue said to no one in particular.  
  
Cole went to go stand outside the alley so that the police would know where they were. Prue and Piper rocked Phoebe back and forth between them, finally allowing themselves to cry. When the paramedics and police came, they had to work to convince Prue and Piper to let go of their baby sister, but they eventually did.  
  
Cole, Prue, and Piper all held each other as they loaded Phoebe into the ambulance and watched with tears as they drove away. Prue was the first to look away.  
  
"I'm calling Darryl," Prue said and broke away from the embrace.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
They had been sitting in the emergency room waiting area for 4 hours and Cole was ready to burst.  
  
"What the hell?! Why can't we know anything?!" he growled. "Piper, freeze the whole damn hospital. I want to go find her."  
  
"Cole, calm down," Prue reprimanded. Cole responded with a dirty look. "We just have to wait," Prue continued. Just then, a man, apparently a doctor with his white coat, approached them. The three stood up in anticipation.  
  
"Are you Phoebe's family?"  
  
Without hesitation, and before Prue and Piper could respond, Cole answered, "Yes, we are. How is she? When can we see her? And why the hell have you taken so damn long?!"  
  
The doctor held up his hands so he could speak without interruption. He also chose to ignore the last question. "Well, Phoebe has sustained many injuries, both physically and emotionally. She has numerous abrasions and cuts on her face, lower back, legs and buttox regions. As for the complications of the rape itself, there was a lot of tearing both internally and externally, but I don't think there will be any long term damage." He paused for a second to take a breath, but Cole decided it was time to step in again with another question.  
  
"So, you're saying she can still have children someday, right?" Both Piper and Prue stared at him. That was definitely not something they expected to come out of Cole's mouth.  
  
The doctor nodded his head. "Yes, I believe she will. Not right now, mind you, but later when she is emotionally healed."  
  
"Can we see her?" Piper asked. She couldn't let any of this sink in unto she could see her sister for herself. The doctor nodded again.  
  
"Yes, she has been asking for you all. The police should be coming rather soon, however, to get a statement, so you may have to leave. But, I think that seeing you will be very good for her. I'm warning you now, though- she is very fragile and simply not the person you know right now. She's scared, ashamed, and probably very self conscious. I am no psychologist, but I have seen enough rape cases to know that she is going to blame herself and feel as though she let you all down. You just have to make sure to make her feel as safe and content as possible." He nodded yet again and led them to room 1604. "I'll leave you alone. I think she may be sleeping now, but she has been nodding on and off since she got here. Good luck," he said and walked away. Cole glared after him.  
  
"What the hell does he mean, 'good luck'?" Cole erupted. Prue put a hand on his arm.  
  
"Calm down or they won't let us in there," Prue chided, but knew how Cole felt. They were all scared. Prue took her hand off Cole's arm and placed it on the doorknob. She took a deep breath and heard Piper and Cole do the same. She opened the door before her nerve could fail her and stepped inside. Prue's heart lurched to her feet at the sight before her.  
  
Phoebe looked so small in the huge white gurney. IV's littered her small arms. Prue let her eyes travel to her sister's face. Both eyes were almost swollen the whole way shut. She had a swollen lip and a few cuts and bruises on her cheeks and forehead. Her hair was still matted down with blood in areas and looked unkempt, something Phoebe would have never let it be. A tear ran down Prue's cheek. She looked behind her at Piper and Cole- both were crying also. All three of them could only stand there, helpless. An incoherent mumble from Phoebe broke them of their trance.  
  
"Phoebe." Cole almost groaned the name as he rushed over to her side. Piper and Prue followed suit.  
  
"Cole?" came the whisper. Phoebe started the difficult struggle to open her eyes; she had to see them.  
  
"Yes honey, I'm here and so are Prue and Piper. We're all here. It will be OK," his voice was thick with emotion. As they crowded around her, Phoebe finally was able to open her eyes. Once she saw them all above her, Phoebe was able to let go. Her sobbing racked her frail body. Piper laid down next to her on the bed and gathered her in her arms. Prue did the same on the other side. Cole, on the other hand, went off in the room. He grabbed a chair from the corner and carried it over to the bed. Then he quickly grabbed the bed and wheeled it away from the wall, also taking care to wheel the machines and IV stands also. He wheeled them all about 3 or 4 feet from the wall, giving himself enough room to drag the chair to behind the bed. He sat, kissing Phoebe's forehead that was now upside down to him and caressing her hair.  
  
* * * * * * * * * *  
  
They all stayed exactly in that position for about 20 minutes until there was a light rap on the door.  
  
"GO away," Cole yelled gruffly and went back to rubbing Phoebe's head and whispering in her ear. The door opened anyway and Cole jumped out of the chair so forcefully that it clattered and slammed against the wall. Cole could feel himself on the brink of changing into Belthazar, but used almost all of his will power to stop himself- it was only Darryl.  
  
"Hi. How is she?" Darryl asked, oblivious to Cole's outburst.  
  
"I'm OK," Phoebe said meekly. Darryl smiled and walked over.  
  
"I'm glad to hear that, Phoebe. I know you had a lot of people worried about you judging from your little fan following you got yourself here." Prue moved up on her elbow so she could see Darryl better, but Phoebe freaked out.  
  
"No! Prue!" she screamed, "Don't leave me! He'll come back!!" Prue quickly laid back down and hugged her sister. Piper and Cole moved in closer too.  
  
"I'm not leaving, honey," Prue cried, "I will never leave you again."  
  
"Neither will I, Phoebe," Piper added, also crying again. "And as for that guy? He will never touch you again!"  
  
"I'll make sure of it," Cole growled.  
  
After a few minutes, Phoebe gradually calmed down. Darryl approached them again. "Phoebe? I know this is a bad time, but if I don't do it now they'll make someone else do it, and I thought it would be better to do it since you know me. I have to ask you some questions about the incident. You have the option of either having your sisters and Cole stay or leave. It's up to you, Phoebe, but we have to do it now if you want me to do it."  
  
Phoebe stared off into space, thinking. On one hand, she wanted them all to stay. This was the first time she felt somewhat safe and she knew she couldn't deal well without them. On the other hand, however, she did not want to face the shame and embarrassment of them hearing what had happened and how stupid she was for not listening to her premonition. As with most rape victims, Phoebe felt as though it was her fault. After a few minutes of thinking and contemplating her options, her fear won over her self-consciousness.  
  
"They can stay," she answered in a weak voice.  
  
"OK. Then, can we start now? The sooner we get started, the sooner it will be over," Darryl responded. Phoebe nodded her head and Darryl started asking questions. Phoebe answered each question clearly, but oddly lacking any emotion. Her eyes never wavered from some certain spot on the ceiling that must have held interest to only her. Her sisters and Cole actually got more emotional than she did. Prue actually had to leave for a few minutes which of course got Phoebe into an uproar- the only emotion she let show. As soon as Prue came back, however, Phoebe went right back to her melancholy way of answering the constant questions. Even Darryl welcomed the silence when they finished, but cringed as he remembered he had forgotten to ask something.  
  
"I'm sorry Phoebe, but I have one more question. Did you see who did this to you? Anything you remember can help. I know you may not but-"  
  
Phoebe cut him off. "I memorized his face and build. You may as well bring in a police artist because it would be pointless to do it any other way," she said in the same monotone voice.  
  
"Err, OK, sure," Darryl said, surprised. Not many people were able to do that, especially not as bravely as Phoebe did. "Well, I guess that's all for now Phoebe. If there is anything else you-" he started, but stopped as Phoebe let out a moan of agony and started to sob again. The relief that the worst was over and the uncertainty of what was to come had overwhelmed her. She knew her life, and the lives of everyone around her for that matter, would never be the same again.... 


	2. Part Two: The Guilt

It had been a week since the incident; neither the Charmed ones nor Cole could bring it upon themselves to call it rape- it was too final of a word.  
  
After Phoebe was released from the hospital, she wouldn't leave her bedroom. Prue and Piper spent their nights sitting in the living room together, listening for the screams of their sister, who had been plagued with nightmares since the incident, and for any word from Leo. They hadn't seen or heard from him since right before they left to go to the mall that day.  
  
"Well, I really can't put out a missing person... thing... on a dead man, now can I?!" Piper yelled sarcastically at Prue. Emotions and tensions had been running high all week.  
  
"Well, sorry for trying to help, Piper," Prue said with equal sarcasm, "But we need him. You need him. Phoebe needs him."  
  
"Don't you think I know that Prue? It's just so hard! Its like, first I lose my sister and then I lose my husband!"  
  
Stop it!" came a struggled cry form the landing on the steps; Phoebe. Her sisters screams and tantrums had finally gotten to her. She couldn't help but think she had caused it all. "Just stop it! I-I can't take this anymore," her nervous voice cracked. Prue and Piper watched in silent horror as Phoebe stumbled down the stairs in an attempt to get down in the living room. She was almost hysterical now, shaking violently, almost to the point of falling. "I can't stand to hear you screaming about me! I'm sorry! Don't blame each other..." her voice changed to a whisper as she grabbed the banister to keep herself from falling. "... blame me."  
  
Prue and Piper ran over to her and between the two of them carried her body over to the couch. They were both surprised at the lack of weight. After they had set her down, Piper looked at Phoebe sternly in the eye.  
  
"Now you listen, Phoebe. This is not your fault. You did nothing! We are not going to blame you, nor are we going to blame each other. This is no one's fault except for the ass who did this to you! You have to understand that!" Piper started to cry, "You have to understand that so you can get better and come back to us Phoebe! We need you just like you need us!"  
  
"But its so hard!" Phoebe wailed. Prue took her turn.  
  
"We know it's hard, Phoebe; its hard for us and nothing even happened to us. I can only imagine what you are going through. We can try to help you, Phoebe, but you have to want to help yourself first."  
  
They sat there for a long time without saying a word. Phoebe's mind was working overtime, though. She wanted desperately to get the weight of blame and guilt off her shoulders, but didn't know how exactly. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Neither Piper or Prue wanted to get up from the couch to get the door.  
  
"Why don't you telekinetically unlock it, tell whoever it is to come in, and I will freeze them so we can see who it is before they come all the way inside?" Piper suggested. Prue shrugged and complied.  
  
"Come on it! its open!"  
  
Piper threw up her arms and they all leaned forward to peer into the hallway to see who was there. It was Darryl and the other girl from the alley. Piper quickly unfroze them and they all waited for them to walk into the living room.  
  
"What the hell was that? You just let anyone walk in here after what happened?!" Darryl screamed. Piper held up her hands once more and froze the girl.  
  
"We had it under control as you can see. Now stand still so she doesn't notice anything when she unfreezes." Darryl let out an angry sigh as he stood back where he was. Phoebe even let a little smile escape her lips, much to the delight of her sisters.  
  
"Hell, Phoebe, if it makes you smile then we will constantly annoy Darryl," Prue joked. Phoebe smiled again.  
  
"Ha. Ha. Ha," Darryl said sarcastically, but still good nature. He realized that he would let them annoy him whenever they wanted if it meant Phoebe would at least smile.  
  
"So, what do you need?" Piper asked. She admitted she was curious, but also hesitant to dredge up the incident again; she didn't know if Phoebe could handle it.  
  
"Well, Ms. Jacobs," he started, referring to the woman next to him; the same from the alley that night, "wanted to visit Phoebe, but I mostly wanted her to talk to you, Piper, based on the new information she gave me after she came out to the hospital."  
  
"What was that info?" Phoebe asked, surprising everyone with her request to in some way relive that night. Ms. Jacobs looked to Darryl for permission and, when he nodded, she went over closer to Phoebe.  
  
"I'm Bryn, by the way," she began and took Phoebe's hand in her own, "and I can't thank you enough- you saved my life." Phoebe sat up and the two embraced, but Bryn quickly stood up and got down to business. "Anyway, I got hit pretty hard when he threw me, and I blacked out for most of it. I could hardly remember what happened, and it bothered me so much because I couldn't understand why we were both alive. I mean, we both saw his face and he knew it."  
  
"I thought that too," Phoebe cut in.  
  
"Yeah, so, I kept trying to remember. I kept thinking, 'There must have been some reason he left; some incident or intervention or something...' Then it hit me. I distinctly remember that a man came and scared him away. But, the more I thought about it, the more I doubted myself, and I am sure you will doubt me too, but here it goes. This odd, blue light seemed to follow him around and he seemed to disappear into it after he chased the guy away..." Bryn let her voice drop as she tried to remember more.  
  
Phoebe, on the other hand looked at Piper hurriedly. Piper had a weird look on her face. Phoebe knew what her sister was thinking because she was thinking the same thing. "Leo," she whispered. Piper nodded her head.  
  
"It's got to be."  
  
"What? What are you talking about?" Bryn asked.  
  
"Nothing you need to know about right now," Piper said as she froze her. Darryl looked confused, but so did everyone else.  
  
"How can we get more out of her without arousing any suspicions she has of magick?" Prue wondered aloud.  
  
"Any kind of spell or magic dust?" suggested Darryl, but he instantly felt stupid for even trying. He was clueless at this supernatural crap, but in a way was relieved he didn't know much.  
  
"Yeah, a forgetting spell of some sorts may work," Piper thought aloud. "Phoebe, are you up for writing one because all the spells Prue and I make sound like stupid couplets written by a magickal Mother Goose."  
  
Phoebe smiled and struggled to get up. Prue offered to help her, but Phoebe shrugged her off. "Prue, let me try by myself." Finally, Phoebe managed to position herself on the couch in a sitting position. "OK, give me a pen and paper," she ordered. Piper grabbed one from a drawer in the kitchen and ran it over. After a few minutes of chewing on the eraser every other word, Phoebe produced a spell in shaky handwriting. Prue and Piper had to squint and fight to read her scribbles.  
  
"Should we say it now or wait until after she tells us?" Piper asked.  
  
"We have to say it now so that she doesn't hold anything back just because it is unbelievable to her." Phoebe was suddenly very cold. Prue noticed the goosebumps and threw a blanket over her. Phoebe smiled, but she was still getting weaker... she could feel it.  
  
"Are you up for this Pheebs?" Prue asked. Phoebe nodded, suddenly very afraid. She tried to shake off the feeling, however, and strongly grabbed her sisters hands. They started to recite the spell. After they were finished, Piper unfroze Bryn.  
  
When did you sit up?" Bryn asked, confused.  
  
Piper decided to test the spell. Phoebe had said it would make Bryn more comfortable to talk about magick and she would for get it anyway, so... "Well, I froze you so we could put a spell on you."  
  
Prue and Darryl gasped at Piper's forwardness. Phoebe giggled softly. Bryn shrugged. "Oh, OK," she said.  
  
"So, Bryn, tell us exactly what you saw, heard... anything," Piper continued. Bryn nodded and started to collect her thoughts. Piper suddenly felt someone grip her hand hard- it was Phoebe. Her knuckled had already turned white and her eyes were shut tight. Bryn started to talk, but Piper stopped her. "Phoebe? Honey? What's wrong sweety?" By that time, Prue had noticed as well.  
  
"Phoebe? We don't have to do this right now sweetheart," Prue said, but Phoebe shook her head. Her eyes were still shut tight.  
  
They all stopped for an explanation to accompany the head shake, but Phoebe offered none. She just couldn't find her voice- it was lost in the pounding of her heart. Phoebe had shut her eyes because every time she looked about the room, she could swear she saw him... her attacker. These hallucinations had happened to her before in her room, but they seemed to get worse each time. It was like some screwed up premonition. Her rational side told herself she was just going crazy and hallucinating, but her fear told her otherwise. Phoebe sternly counted to three and slowly opened her eyes, She let out a sigh- he wasn't there, but her sisters, Darryl, and Bryn were and all wanted an explanation that Phoebe didn't want to give.  
  
"G-g-go ahead, B-Bryn," she stuttered but said sternly enough that Bryn complied.  
  
"Well, I'll just start at the beginning so it's easier," she began, but looked at Phoebe again. "But if you want or need me to stop, just tell me."  
  
"I-I will. T-Thanks."  
  
"Good. Well, I was walking around the mall, looking for various items, when someone grabbed my purse. I have been mugged before and didn't want to go through it again, so I stupidly ran after the guy. I followed him into the alley. His back was to me so he didn't expect it when I came up behind him and kicked in his knees. He fell and dropped the bag which I bent down to grab. However, he threw me to the ground before I could leave. He sat on top of me and said, 'Now I can have my way with your money and with you. What a great day!' and laughed. I will never forget that laugh," Bryn stopped and felt a chill run down her spine. She fought for composure, gained it, and continued, but not before checking out Phoebe. She had her eyes closed again and her cheeks were wet with tears. "Anyways, that was about the time when you came. He threw me and I blacked out. I woke up for a bit when you tried to run I think for the first time, but he grabbed you. Then came the weird stuff. You had apparently blacked out and he started pulling a knife out of his discarded jeans. He looked over to me, but I pretended to still be unconscious. I heard you start to moan and he switched his attention to you. Just as he was about to stab you, this blondish haired guy appeared in a bluish light. He grabbed the guy and totally kicked the shit out of him, and then through him out onto the street. Then, the guy knelt over you and this light glow thing erupted from his hands. Just as you started to stir, the guy screamed and seemed to explode into little blue balls. It was then I got up and got your sisters for you," she concluded.  
  
As if on cue, everyone looked at Phoebe. Her eyes were still shut tight and she was now violently shaking. When Prue reached out to rub her shoulder, Phoebe jerked back and had a sharp intake of breath.  
  
"Pheebs, its just us," Prue said softly, and laid her hand on Phoebe's shoulder again.  
  
She jerked back a second time. "Please, don't touch me right now," Phoebe's voice broke and shook. Prue didn't know what to do. She glanced around for suggestions, but everyone else was as clueless as she was.  
  
After a few minutes, Bryn broke the silence. "What happened? For some strange reason I can't remember anything from about the time I got here until now."  
  
Phoebe, though still shaken, let out a little chuckle. Piper could have sworn she heard, "Go me!" but couldn't be sure. She was sure, however, of two things: the spell had worked and Leo was in trouble.  
  
* * *  
  
After Bryn and Darryl left, Phoebe wanted to be alone. Though she knew her sisters wanted to be with her to calm their ever growing anxieties, Phoebe couldn't stand the tension. When Prue and Piper both went into the kitchen, Phoebe made her painful escape. She started slowly up the steps, putting one foot up on the step, then bringing the other one up to meet it. This, of course, took her much longer, but she found it hurt too much to go up the normal way.  
  
At the top of the steps, Phoebe's side burned and her head pounded. She was feeling lightheaded, but decided to continue anyway. Finally, she reached her destination- the attic.  
  
Sitting gingerly on the floor, Phoebe put the Book of Shadows in her lap. Guilt washed over her as she looked for a spell, any spell, that would bring back Leo, or at least give them some information. She could vaguely hear her sisters calling her name, but she really didn't care. All she wanted was to find something so Leo could come back. Diligently, she searched, though she could hardly read the book through her tears. Her sisters' cries were becoming more and more frantic, but again, Phoebe didn't care. All she could do was think of how she could make the wrongs she caused into rights. Cole's voice mixed with her sisters', but Phoebe still didn't care.  
  
Phoebe could feel herself lose control of her thoughts, but could do nothing to stop them. Flashbacks of the incident screamed in her head. Phoebe forgot about the Book of Shadows and grabbed her head in her hands. Then, she could have sworn she heard the attic door click open. She ripped her eyes open, and to her horror, she saw her attacker walking towards her. All thoughts of, 'this is a dream' were smashed to bits as he physically took her shoulders and began to shake her. She moaned in agony and horror. Phoebe felt so helpless. The man started calling her name as he shook her, though the voice was not the one of her attacker, but of Cole. Phoebe urged herself to open her eyes and, instead of seeing that man, she saw Cole worriedly shaking her, calling her name.  
  
"Cole." it was like a plea. What had just happened? Had she hallucinated it all?  
  
"Phoebe. Oh God Phoebe, what happened? What's wrong?" Cole also pleaded. He could feel her small body shake in his arms. He gathered her up and hugged her tightly. Phoebe's throat constricted and she resisted the powerful urge to squirm away; she was still unsure of what exactly just happened, let alone if this guy holding her was really Cole. That thought struck her hard. Was she going crazy? Of course this was Cole! Who else would it be? Again, her logical side and emotional side had an eternal war.  
  
Phoebe didn't even notice when Cole shimmered her downstairs, nor when her sisters and Cole tried to talk to her. Confusion caused her to fall asleep on the couch and no one bothered to stop her.  
  
* * *  
  
"What can we do to help her? I don't think I can take much more of this," Cole sighed heavily and stared at Phoebe blankly from his position across the room. Prue shook her head and put it in her hands, deep in thought.  
  
Piper didn't seem to hear any of the conversation. She just stared out the window, looking at nothing, searching for everything. Someone walking down the road caught her unwandering eye. Her breath caught. "Leo," she whispered and jetted to the door.  
  
Cole and Prue looked up at the sudden burst. Prue followed Piper and Cole stayed to watch Phoebe. Piper ran down the street, almost falling twice. Leo saw her coming towars him, but didn't really have the same enthusiasm. She didn't care. Piper jumped into his arms and grabbed him as tight as she could, kissing him as much as she could. After a second or two, she realized he wasn't kissing her back. She pulled away and looked at him, though Leo averted his eyes. Piper continued to stare at him until Prue broke her glaze by embracing Leo.  
  
"Leo! Oh my God! Where were you?" Prue said, estatic, but then noticed both of them weren't sharing her optimism. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I don't know," Piper said, still trying to figure it out. "He won't say a thing." She kept her glaze on him until he finally sighed and looked up.  
  
"No, no. I'm sorry I am not happy. Can we talk? Inside?" His voice was strained and had an emptiness to it that Prue and Piper never heard before. They both nodded, but they were as confused as ever. What else could happen?  
  
* * *  
  
When they got inside, Leo went directly over to Phoebe and started to sob, not acknowledging anyone. Finally, Piper had had enough of his odd behavior.  
  
"Leo!" she yelled, causing him to finally look up from Phoebe. "What the hell is going on?"  
  
Leo stood up and hung his head. All attention (except for Phoebe who was still passed out on the couch) was on him. "Well, to make a long story short, I have been stripped of all my powers and will have to spend the rest of the years of my now mortal life since they clipped my wings in what you can call a jail 'up there'. I have 24 hours to say good bye."  
  
Piper, Prue, and Cole stared, dumbfounded. Leo shook his head and laughed bitterly and sarcastically. "Yeah, and that's not the best part; 'they' won't let an other whitelighter come down and help, let alone heal Phoebe because, and I quote, 'This matter has been interfered with enough and too many rules have been broken for it to be rectified.' Yeah, so I guess I messed up real good, didn't I?!" Leo broke down again.  
  
"Leo, take me up there right now," Piper demanded. Leo didn't respond. Piper just got more mad. "Leo, I will not let this happen. Don't you even think of giving up hope- Not on yourself; Not on me; Not on anything. We have fought 'them' before and we certainly will now."  
  
Her screams of anger had awoke Phoebe. She looked up and saw Leo. A smile crossed her lips. "Leo!" she weakly exclaimed. "I thought you were gone- that 'they' did something to you." Leo looked down, but tried to put on a fake smile for her benefit. She missed the cover up. "Leo, could you please heal me now? You don't have to d it a lot... Just a little bit. Please. It hurts so bad," Phoebe had started to cry again, but this time Leo joined her. She caught on to this body language right away. Phoebe sat up straight, ignoring the ever-present, but now piercing, pain. "I was right, wasn't I? 'They' did punish you, didn't 'they'?! Damnit, Leo, tell me!"  
  
"Yeah, 'they' did, Phoebe," Leo choked out, but grew stern, "but don't worry about it- Piper said we can try to fight it somehow." He looked at Piper who nodded but was keeping back her tears.  
  
"Yeah, OK," Phoebe said bitterly and laid back down on the couch. She wouldn't, couldn't look at anyone. how could she after she caused all this? The tears silently came, streaking her pale face and trickling to her mouth. The bitter, salt water tears stung her lips, but yet again, Phoebe didn't care. She just didn't care about anything anymore. She closed her eyes, hoping that would somehow plug up her eyes so she couldn't cry- the sting was getting to her now. It didn't help. Nothing could help.  
  
* * *  
  
"There has to be something, damnit!" Piper cried out in frustration. They had been searching the Book of Shadows for hours and hadn't found a thing.  
  
"I told you there wouldn't be anything," Leo chided. "Just stop. We don't have much more time and the time I do have left I want to spend with you."  
  
"No, don't do that, Leo! Phoebe already has lost hope- you cant also!" Piper yelled, but still left the book's side to go sit in his arms. "Why are 'they' doing this to us? I don't understand! You were just trying to help Phoebe. What else were you supposed to do? Let her die?"  
  
"Yes, actually, I was," Leo sighed. Piper stared at him. He knew she expected an explanation so he complied. "Phoebe was destined to die that day so she could fulfill some sort of prophecy."  
  
"OK, my sister is not the next Jesus by any means. This is absurd!" Piper argued but stopped as Leo rose his hands.  
  
"I know, I know. You don't have to tell me, remember? I tried to fight it, but lost. I still can't really understand it and I don't think I ever will."  
  
They were silent for a few minutes until Prue entered the attic. Piper could tell she had been crying.  
  
"Prue, what happened now? Whats wrong?"  
  
Oh, nothing. Phoebe just had another nightmare thing. Cole is down there with her now because she didn't want me to touch her."  
  
"Oh," Piper said, not knowing what else to say. They were all silent for a moment, thinking of Phoebe.  
  
"So, did you find anything?" Prue changed the subject, but got her answer by the expressionless stares she got in return. "I take it that's a 'no'."  
  
"Yeah, a big fat one," Piper replied and sighed. She rested her head back on Leo and stared at the Book of Shadows without really reading it. She just let her eyes skim over the page it was opened on. She jumped nearly a foot as the clock downstairs chimed 11 times. Piper gasped. "Leo, how much time do we have left?"  
  
"Well, I got back to earth around 11:30, but didn't get here until around 12:30 yesterday, right So, anywhere between a half hour and an hour and a half," he replied flatly. Piper jumped off his lap and grabbed the Book of Shadows. She tore through the pages, looking for anything she could have missed. This went on for a few minutes until Prue broke the tension.  
  
"Well, do you have to orb up there when it is time or what?"  
  
"I can't orb. I dont have any powers. They'll probably just come and get me whenever its time."  
  
"So is there any way we can get up there?" Prue persisted.  
  
"No."  
  
"Wait! Yes there is!" Piper exclaimed and bolted from the room. It took a second for Prue and Leo to jump into action and follow her. When they got downstairs, they saw Piper already in the middle of an argument with Cole.  
  
"Cole, come on, you know you can!"  
  
"Piper, I am a demon! You can't just expect me to shimmer up there to the place I am most hated and say, 'Hey Elders, look who are the bad guys now!' That's suicide!"  
  
"Oh, so now you aren't willing to sacrifice anything to help Phoebe?! I thought you loved her!"  
  
"Damnit Piper, I do and you know it! But this plan cannot work. The best case scenario is that they let Leo return, but without any powers. That just screws over Phoebe again, doesn't it?!"  
  
"Maybe, but she can heal on her own! I couldn't if I lost Leo! Cole, you know first hand what it is like being on the brink of losing someone you love. It's horrible. And who knows, maybe they will let Leo come back with powers. Maybe they won't. But at least we can say we actually tried damnit!" Piper was beyond tears now. She felt helpless and guilty. She knew what she was asking Cole to do was selfish and stupid, but she couldn't help herself. Cole stared at her with a grim face, judging her emotional status with his critical eyes. He sighed and walked over to Phoebe. He knelt down and gave her a small but passionate kiss. He stood up, brushed a tear away, and stared at Piper again. Without a word, but making sure Piper watched every second, he shimmered away.  
  
Piper fell to her knees and covered her face with her hands, "Oh God, what did I just do? I just sent my sister's boyfriend to his death. Oh my God." Piper couldn't believe her selfishness had gotten the best of her. She had never been more guilty in her life. Prue and Leo couldn't believe it either; they couldn't believe Piper, sweet and innocent Piper, would have the audacity to do what she just did, nor could they believe Cole complied. Though she knew she would probably jinx it, Prue thought, 'Can this day get any worse?!'  
  
* * *  
  
Prue did jinx it. At 12 noon, the doorbell rang. Prue went to get it because Leo and Piper were together, saying their good-byes. When she opened the door, her eyes nearly popped out of her head. It was a group of old men in white robes- the Elders. Before Prue could say anything, one of them spoke.  
  
"We have come for the ex-whitelighter. Let us in."  
  
"Not before I ask you a few questions," Prue figured that they were already in trouble so she may as well get some answers.  
  
"You have no authority over us, Charmed One."  
  
"Like hell I don't," Prue retorted. "Now you will not get Leo until you answer some of my questions."  
  
"Fine, Charmed One. We will give you three questions to be answered."  
  
Prue still didn't like to be denounced like that, but figured this was her only chance. She noticed a car on the street slowing in front of the manor, gawking at the spectacle of the men in weird robes outside the door. Prue, though, didn't really blame them- the Elders looked odd even to someone who was as used to the idea of the supernatural as Prue. Nonetheless, she knew she had to get them inside.  
  
"You can come inside, but you have to wait in the hall until you answer my questions."  
  
"Fair enough, Charmed One."  
  
She led them all inside- a total of seven robe-clad Elders. They stood around, waiting for Prue to speak. She knew she had to choose her three questions carefully. Finally, she was satisfied and turned to them to speak. Anger filled her voice.  
  
"First, I want you to look on that couch right there. Look at that person on it. She has fought demon after demon after warlock for you. She has been the one to convince Piper and I to not give up being witches. She has never doubted you-"  
  
An Elder cut her off. "Get on with the questions, Charmed One."  
  
"Hold on to your damn horses," Prue screamed back. "I want you to know exactly who you wanted dead! She is not just a tool in your fight against evil; she is a person, damnit, and a great one at that. She is my sister." Prue started to cry softly, but her voice remained strong. "So, my first question is why did you want to let her die?"  
  
"To fulfill the prophecy."  
  
"And what prophecy would that be?"  
  
"Is that your second question, Charmed One?"  
  
Was it? Prue hadn't counted on that. She tried to get out of it, "No, it's part of the first. I expected you to explain."  
  
"No, it is either the second question or you dont ask it."  
  
She held up one finger and thought. Was that really the most important question now? 'No,' thought Prue finally. She couldn't ask that. She knew they needed to know the answers to other questions now.  
  
"Fine, I won't ask that, but the questions I am going to ask require complete honesty on your part and you have to promise me you will answer them completely and as truthfully as you possibly can. Promise me that."  
  
"You have our word Charmed One."  
  
"OK." Prue took a deep breath and chose her words carefully. "This question has two parts, just so you know ahead of time, and should only count as one. Is there any way you can allow Leo, or any other whitelighter for that matter, to heal Phoebe? AND if not, is there anything we can do to magickally speed up the healing process to help her out?"  
  
"Well, Charmed One, even though we do not want to interfere with this issue any more since the prophecy was not fulfilled, there is a way. We will not let your now ex-whitelighter nor another step in, but we don't have enough power over you to prevent you from doing it yourself. In the old wiccan religion, there are many healing spells that do not involve personal gain consequences. If you find one of these, it will work. Next and last question now, please."  
  
Prue nodded her head. At least she knew they were honest even if they were jerks. "How can we get Leo back, or even just plain keep him? With his powers?"  
  
"That is almost completely unavoidable. The only way we will let the ex-whitelighter free is if he can prove that he disobeyed orders for the best interest of his charge in the high court, which will be quite difficult to do so because the prophecy said it should have happened. Not much can go up against a prophecy."  
  
That Elder stopped talking and looked around. Another spoke up. "Where is he? It is time."  
  
"Wait! Where is this high court and how do we go about this? How-" Prue rambled but yet another elder held up his hand.  
  
"No more questions, Charmed One. We have answered the agreed three. Now you must answer ours. Where is the ex-whitelighter?"  
  
"I'm right here, sir," Leo called from the steps. He and Piper slowly walked down the steps, hand in hand, with tears streaming down their faces. Nonetheless, they held their heads up high. As they approached the whitelighters, Leo gave Piper a long, deep kiss. Right in the middle of the kiss, however, two of the Elders grabbed Leo by the shoulders and yanked him away. It was then total chaos erupted. Both Leo and Piper were screaming almost in unison, "No! No! No!" over and over again. Piper dove at one of the elders grabbing Leo but Prue noticed one of them getting a light orb ready and pulled Piper back just in time. The Elder threw it, miss, and hit the clock which immediately got a forcefield of sorts around it. The Elders then dragged Leo, kicking and screaming, out of the manor and orbed away. Piper broke down in Prue's arms, spent. In her agony, she felt someone sit down next to her an d Prue. It was Phoebe. Oddly enough, this small sacrifice on Phoebe's part caused Piper even more pain. She cried harder, frantically gripping at her sisters.  
  
Phoebe could feel her sister's nails go into her already painful wounds, but didn't care. She had needed her sisters and now her sister needed her. This was the least she could do. Phoebe looked up at Prue who was still staring down at Piper, stroking her hair numbly. Phoebe knew Prue was ready to snap because of herself and Piper. Phoebe knew she would have to pull herself together, if not for herself than for Prue. And Piper. Looking at Piper, she again confirmed what she already knew- it would never be the same.  
  
"We can fight it, sweetheart, we can fight," Prue soothed.  
  
"How?" Piper cried.  
  
"The elders told me that there was this high court thing and if we could prove that Leo disobeyed their orders for the good of the Charmed Ones, he could be let free," Prue responded.  
  
"Cole can help with his background in law," Phoebe offered, still oblivious to the fact Piper sent him to his almost certain death. Piper only cried harder. 


	3. Part Three: The Trial

Putting it lightly, Phoebe was pissed. After Piper had calmed down that day, she had told Phoebe about Cole and how she convinced him to go 'up there,' basically to his death. It had been three days since the and Phoebe had lost all hope that Cole was alive. 'Oh, just another name to add to the ever growing list of Phoebe caused casualties...' she thought to herself. She knew Piper had been the one to cause Cole to go, but Phoebe couldn't shake the feeling that she had somehow caused this all in one form or another.  
  
After sitting there, contemplating for a few more minutes, Phoebe put the pills and glass of water away in the bathroom medicine cabinet. She went and took the knife back to the kitchen. Just as she slid the knife back into the butcher's block, Phoebe noticed Prue in the conservatory with someone, talking very 'hushed hushed.' Phoebe had this weird paranoid feeling they were talking about her. She inched closer to hear, careful to stay out of eyeshot- if Prue saw her, she would talk around the issue and not straight about the facts.  
  
"Well, it is a good thing that you caught him, right?" Prue asked softly. She didn't understand why Darryl was being so grim about such seemingly good news.  
  
"Oh yeah, of course it is a good thing- a rapist is off the streets! But, this causes a whole new montage of problems, especially for Phoebe. He has been charged with 2 counts of aggravated assault, 2 counts of attempted kidnapping, 1 count of attempted murder, and of course 1 count of rape. They are throwing the book at him, but the whole case rests on Phoebe since she was the victim of every count, so she will be the key witness, which is never easy to deal with, even under normal circumstances." Darryl paused. "Speaking of dealing, how is Phoebe handling things?"  
  
Prue sighed, "Not good at all. She is just so depressed and I honestly don't think I have it in me to help anymore. What, with Phoebe and Piper, I am run over with rejection because neither of them want me around. My moods change from one minute to the next; one minute I feel guilty for being the only sister who didn't have something really bad happen to and then the next I'm pissed because I can't help but think they are overreacting. I-I-" she paused, "I can't take much more of it. I can't take much more of them! Sometimes I can't help myself and start to think how much better it would be if-" she stopped herself and looked down at the ground. She realized she was babbling and that soon she may say something she didn't want said. "Sorry Darryl," she mumbled, "I didn't mean to lay that all on you."  
  
"It's ok. I understand," he answered, but stopped and looked up. He had caught sight of Phoebe standing at the doorway. Prue followed Darryl's gaze and her eyes met Phoebe's tear stained ones. Her head dropped to her chest so that her chin was touching her chest.  
  
"Phoebe, how long have you been standing there?" she asked.  
  
"Long enough," Phoebe responded. Prue felt horribly guilty. She stood up and pleaded with her sister. She thought Phoebe was mad at her.  
  
"Phoebe, I am so sorry! I-I didn't mean what I said-"  
  
"Yes. You did."  
  
"Oh Phoebe, I am so sorry!"  
  
"Don't be. I'm glad I heard it. I know I've been selfish and I am ready to get better- to help you like you helped me. And help Piper. But, you have to be patient with me, Prue. It is so hard for me to look past all I've done and what I caused."  
  
"Phoebe," Prue warned her. She hated when Phoebe pulled the self blame gig, but didn't want to get upset; not after this surprising offer of a truce.  
  
Their conversation was interrupted by a male voice calling, "Phoebe! Phoebe! Prue! Piper!" from upstairs. Phoebe's heart nearly crashed through her chest. It was Cole's voice. She tried to run up the stairs but got lightheaded and dizzy because of her sudden movement; they hadn't did the spell to heal her yet because it would look suspicious if Phoebe testified in court without any injuries. Prue was there in a flash, half supporting her, half dragging her upstairs. As soon as Phoebe saw Cole standing in her room, she ran to him and kissed him with an intensity she never knew she possessed.  
  
After allowing her sister a few minutes to kiss Cole, Prue jumped up and hugged him. Hard. So hard that he landed on the bed with Prue on top of him. Piper, hearing the commotion, walked into the room. She, needless to say, was a bit confused.  
  
"OK, I know I can be blamed for a lot of this crap going on, but I am not being blamed for Prue stealing Phoebe's boyfriend!" she exclaimed. Prue laughed and rolled off Cole. She looked at Piper, expecting her to be laughing as well, but she wasn't. Instead, Piper walked over to Cole and hung her head. "I am so sorry, Cole. You don't know how sorry I am."  
  
Cole held up his hand. "Hey, it was all for the good. 'They' are going to let me represent Leo in their court and fixed it so that I can nail the asshole that did this to Phoebe as the 'returned from hiatus, ADA without a record'! So, in a way, Piper, you helped the situation."  
  
"Wait a minute. What do you mean about being the new ADA?" Piper asked, still not giving in.  
  
"I don't know how exactly, but 'they' fixed things around so that I can return to work without question as the ADA. 'They' also arranged it so that I can be the prosecuting attorney against that bastard who started this thing!"  
  
"What about Leo?" Phoebe asked. She knew Piper wanted to ask, but felt too guilty to do so.  
  
"Well, I get to represent him as well. I personally don't think either case will be too hard," he concluded and stood behind Phoebe, wrapping his arms around her stomach, being careful to avoid her many remaining bruises and cuts. She leaned back onto his chest and let him support her weight (or lack there of. Phoebe had not been eating much since the incident. Food just didn't look good to her anymore.). Phoebe closed her eyes and tried to feel the beat of his heart on her back. He moved suddenly, catching her off guard. She stumbled back and thought she was going to fall, but Cole caught her just in time. "Sorry," he said and brushed his lips against hers. She nodded her forgiveness and he started to explain his sudden movement or excitement. "Oh, and I have a surprise for you, Piper. I almost forgot. I don't know how I could possibly forget but I did..." he rambled.  
  
"What is it?" she asked, wanting to hear any good news that he had.  
  
"Well, because of my superb council," he bragged, "I have convinced the Elders to allow Leo to come home to earth before, during, and hopefully after the trial. I gave the excuse that we had to prepare our case but-" Cole was cut off as Piper tackled him in a bear hug, crying hysterically tears of joy.  
  
What is this? Jump on your sister's boyfriend day?" Phoebe joked, trying to ignore the shooting pain in her abdomen.  
  
* * *  
  
After things (and everyone) calmed down, Phoebe and Cole went to Phoebe's room. Cole had brought all of his law books and was putting them, along with some of his clothes and belongings, into Phoebe's closet, when Phoebe came and wrapped her arms around him. He turned to face her and noticed tears in her eyes. Cole kissed her eyes, wiping the tears away with his lips.  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing," Phoebe sniffled.  
  
"Are you lying?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Phoebe," Cole sighed, "Please tell me."  
  
"No, you'll just get mad."  
  
"How can I get mad at someone with that face?" he said and cradled her chin with his hand and caressed her lip with his thumb.  
  
"Very funny," she smiled, but it soon faded. She took a deep breath. Phoebe was never very good at keeping things secret- they always seemed to get the best of her heart. She decided to just get it over with, so, in one big breath she said, "I, uh, had a premonition of the attack before it happened, but I, uh, obviously ignored it." She critically looked at his face to see the first signs of anger. 'Yeah, yeop. There they are,' she thought to herself as she watched his eyes darken.  
  
"You just ignored it?!" Cole blew up. "Phoebe, how could you?!"  
  
"I just sorta, well, did. I heard Bryn scream and the premonition didn't even come to mind." She was crying now. This had been a mistake. Everything was a mistake. All unfixable mistakes. Cole stared at her hard and turned to walk away. She grabbed onto his shoulder. "Cole, please. You said you wouldn't be mad!" he pleaded.  
  
"How could I not be?" he screamed in return. "Phoebe, this-this-this whole situation could have been avoided for God's sake!" By then, the couple's screams had beckoned Piper and Prue. They stood tentatively at the doorway, listening and watching.  
  
"Don't you think I know that, Cole?" Phoebe screamed with equal force. "Why do you think this whole thing is hard for me to deal with when I know it is my fault? Damnit Cole, why do you think I have been bringing pills and knives into my room at night? Why do you think I can't look Piper or Prue in the eyes?! Because I did it. I did it to you. I did it to Leo. I did it to them. I did it to myself. I am just as guilty as he is!" She sank to her knees in tears. Cole went over to her and put his hand on her shoulder in an attempt to apologize, but she jerked away. "Get away from me," she said softly, but it had the same inpact as if she had screamed it. Cole backed away, unsure of what to do or say. He backed into Prue and Piper who were also standing there, flabbergasted and unsure of everything as well.  
  
* * *  
  
It was Piper's turn to station herself in front of Phoebe's door. Ever since she had let it slip that she had been contemplating suicide, Piper, Prue, and Cole took turns outside Phoebe's door, making sure she didn't do anything stupid. Even though Piper wanted to do it, she couldn't stand just sitting there in silence where her mind could run marathons. Mostly her thoughts were about Leo, but sometimes she couldn't help but think of Phoebe. She couldn't stop herself from trying to imagine what happened to Phoebe. She could picture it in her mind and frankly, Piper couldn't blame Phoebe for acting how she was. Actually, Piper admired her sister for her courage and for how she was handling herself; Piper knew she probably would have gave into the pills if she was in Phoebe's position.  
  
Piper couldn't take just sitting there anymore. She stood up and opened the door slowly, surprised it wasn't locked as it had been for the past day. Phoebe was lying on her back on her bed, her eyes staring straight ahead to the ceiling.  
  
"Phoebe?" Piper said, almost as a question.  
  
"Leave me alone, Piper," Phoebe mumbled.  
  
"I don't want to," she tried to joke, but it didn't seem as funny as it did in her head when she said it.  
  
"Too bad."  
  
"I really need to talk to you."  
  
"What could you possibly want to talk about?" Phoebe spat back. She couldn't understand why everyone wouldn't just leave her alone. It hurt to talk. To think. To be.  
  
"Oh, I don't know... maybe about some embarrassing time in Prue's life... Like the time we were all in high school and Prue was the head cheerleader in the homecoming game. Remember, she had to do that solo tumble routine and everyone could see that she wasn't wearing her spankies!?"  
  
Phoebe let herself give a small laugh. "Yeah, and everyone called her 'Granny Prudence' the rest of her senior year because of her flowered underwear. That was the best year of school ever."  
  
"Yeah..." Piper agreed. She racked her brain for some other topic to talk about. She had to get Phoebe to keep talking. It didn't matter what the topic was as long as Phoebe was kept talking. Piper was desperate. "So, uh, how about this weather?"  
  
"I haven't been outside since I got home from the hospital."  
  
"Oh..." Piper stopped. 'Oh, that really worked,' she thought sarcastically. She tried to think of something, anything else to keep Phoebe talking.  
  
"Piper, you don't have to make conversation- I don't want to talk anyway."  
  
"Yeah, but I do. I miss not having our talks. We don't have to talk about... it... but we can talk about anything else you want. I just want to hear your voice again."  
  
"Here is my voice. Happy?" Phoebe replied harshly, but sighed when Piper got up to leave. "Piper. Come back. I'm sorry." Piper complied and sat on the edge of the bed, but not before trying to nonchalantly wipe away a tear. Phoebe saw, of course, and painfully sat up to be next to her sister.  
  
"No, Phoebe, that's ok. I'm ok. You can lay back down if you want."  
  
"Maybe I don't want to," Phoebe replied with a grin. Something inside Piper snapped and she dove upon Phoebe, engulfing her in a huge bear hug. After a few moments of giggling, they both turned onto their backs, side by side on the bed, and stared up at the ceiling, feeling content to be in each other's company.  
  
Phoebe's mouth opened, but she closed it. Again, she opened it to say something, but again, thought better of it. Piper noticed her hesitation and cocked an eyebrow at her, silently asking her what she was trying to say. Phoebe didn't hesitate this time.  
  
"I... I-I'm scared."  
  
Piper nodded her head and held Phoebe as she cried. Piper even cried herself- finally, Phoebe was opening up.  
  
* * *  
  
"I'd like to call Phoebe Halliwell to the stand."  
  
Phoebe squeezed her sister's hands and stood up with her chin up high. She cast an anxious side glance at the prosecuting attorney and he nodded encouragement to her. When she got to the stand and placed her hand on the Bible, she let her eyes wander tot he very spot she was deliberately avoiding- the defendant's table. Phoebe's mind went blank with fear. In the distance, she heard someone repeating, "Miss Halliwell..." over and over again, but she couldn't snap out of it. She had only heard his name as the trial began- Peter Brinks. What a seemingly harmless name. Ha, that's a laugh. They held each other's eyes captive; Phoebe couldn't look away from his sadistic stare. This was the man of her dreams... no, nightmares. Someone touched her arm and Phoebe jumped, blinking her eyes to clear her head. She found the bailiff staring at her, as was everyone else in the courtroom.  
  
"Do you?" he persisted.  
  
"Do I what?" came her shaky reply.  
  
"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you God?" he said. Phoebe nodded her head and mumbled a yes. She sat down and stared at her hands. The prosecuting attorney stepped up to the stand to begin his questioning. He stared long at Phoebe to make sure she was ready. He noticed that she kept glancing over to the defendant, so he positioned his body in between Phoebe and the defendant to block her view and get her attention without startling her. He succeeded. Phoebe slowly looked up from her hands, expecting to see that awful face again, but found herself looking at Cole. She couldn't help but give a relieved smile. Cole returned it briefly, but preceded to get on with business.  
  
He asked her question after painful question. At times, when Phoebe couldn't control herself, she pleaded with her eyes at her sisters to freeze the room, but knew they couldn't- the three of them had agreed that they couldn't risk freezing the room whenever Phoebe couldn't handle it for fear that they would rouse suspicion. However, Phoebe managed to hold herself together until Cole asked her to describe, in detail, the actual rape. He had said the tabooed word- rape. Phoebe's head spun and the next thing she knew, she was laying on the floor, staring up at the Judge, bailiff, Cole, Prue, and Piper. Her sisters helped her up and eyed her critically.  
  
"Pheebs, are you OK?" Piper asked. She nodded her head and steadied herself on the back of the witness chair.  
  
"I want to get this over with," she answered. Though Piper and Prue didn't want to, they walked back to their seats, as did the judge and bailiff. Cole regained his position in front of the witness stand and stared at her, waiting for a signal she was ready to continue; not that he wanted to, but he knew he had to. He also did not want the judge to know he and Phoebe were romantically involved- he probably would not let Cole be on the case if he knew. The Elders made sure that no one on the street that night saw Cole, so he was covered unless Phoebe let it slip that he was a witness like her sisters. They had already taken care of Bryn with a forgetting spell. Finally, Phoebe took a deep breath, looked into Cole's eyes, and nodded. He briefly nodded back.  
  
"Ok, so Miss Halliwell, if you are now ready to continue, can you please take us step by step though the actual ra-" he stopped himself. "Incident, starting with when he-" Cole pretended to look at his notes but he already knew all too well where he wanted Phoebe to start. Even though Phoebe had not told him personally, he had memorized her entire statement that she gave Darryl at the hospital. He looked up from his yellow legal pad, dreading his next words. "When he tied your hands together and put the gag in your mouth."  
  
Phoebe took a deep breath, willing herself not to look over at the defendant. She was relieved when Cole again placed himself in-between her and Brinks. She took yet another deep breath and began. Surprisingly, her voice only faltered once when she told the court about when he had ripped off her shirt. But, other than that, Phoebe did fantastic. As it was in the hospital room, Prue and Piper showed much more emotion than their sister who had every right to.  
  
Finally, Cole decided Phoebe had told everything she needed to. "Thank you Miss Halliwell. The prosecution rests." He then turned to the defending lawyers and nodded his head smugly, as if to say, 'see if you can defend your way out of this!' and said, "Your witness." Instead of getting up to ask Phoebe questions, however, the attorney stood up and addressed the judge.  
  
"Your honor, the defense rests."  
  
Phoebe couldn't believe her ears. The defense had just given up. They had won. He would be punished. It took her everything she had not to run to Cole and embrace him as she walked back to her seat to join her sisters. They were as happy as she was. In fact, the whole side of the courtroom on the prosecuting side was alive with muffled cries of happiness. So much, in fact, that the judge had to call them all to order. Peter Brinks was eventually found guilty of all counts against him and sentenced to the maximum 65 years he could serve.  
  
* * *  
  
"I'd like to call Phoebe Halliwell to the stand."  
  
Phoebe squeezed her sister's hands and stood up with her chin up high. She cast an anxious side glance at the defending attorney and he nodded encouragement to her. When she got to the stand and placed her hand on the Book of Shadows, she let her eyes wander to the very spot she was deliberately avoiding- the prosecutors' table. Phoebe's mind went blank with fear. In the distance, she heard someone repeating, "Miss Halliwell..." over and over again, but she couldn't snap out of it. The Elders were all sitting at that table, waiting for her to mess up so that they could send Leo away. Piper would never forgive her. She was so nervous. She couldn't do this- too much was riding on her... "Miss Halliwell!" Phoebe snapped back to reality.  
  
"What?" she asked, confused.  
  
"Do you swear to tell the whole truth for the greater good of all the world?"  
  
"I do." Phoebe sat down and the lead Elder approached the stand. Phoebe strained to see his face under the white hood, but couldn't. It was all very eery.  
  
She sat down in her seat and turned to look at the judge, but was blinded by a bright light. The judge just so happened to be 'The Powers That Be' and she guessed, judging by the fact that she couldn't see them, that she was not supposed to view such a power (no pun intended). Phoebe tried to not let it get to her. She had to focus- Leo's fate depended on her.  
  
"I would like you to state your name for the record, Charmed one," the Elder said in a booming and intimidating voice.  
  
"Phoebe Halliwell," she replied, her voice shaking a bit.  
  
"Are you the youngest Charmed one?" he asked. Phoebe wasn't so sure as to where he was going with this, but decided to answer whatever he asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Do you have the power to levitate and have premonitions?" he continued to ask.  
  
Phoebe shook her head, but remembered she had to verbally answer every question. "Yes."  
  
The Elder whipped around and faced the light that was 'The Powers That Be'. "She has admitted that she was the one the prophecy spoke of! You have heard it from her own mouth. The prophecy is evidence enough that this whitelighter did wrong in interfering. The prosecution rests." Phoebe was stunned. What had happened?  
  
Cole was just as confused as Phoebe. He stood up, his mouth open wide, thinking of something, anything to say in return. All that he could think of, however, was, "Objection your honor, err, uh, your powerfulness..."  
  
"There are no objections in this court, demon," came a booming voice from the light. "It is not like mortal courts. The Elders have made their case and now it is time for you to attempt to make yours. No questions asked or objections."  
  
Cole stood there, stunned. He hadn't thought the prophecy would be such a big deal; now it was ruining his case. Cole racked his brain. "Ok," he started, still gathering his thoughts. "The defense needs to be informed of exactly what this prophecy was in order to, uh, adequately defend Le- uh, the whitelighter in question."  
  
Phoebe just sat there, turning her head as if she was watching a tennis match. Her stomach fluttered and twisted. She glanced over at Leo and felt even more horrible- he had his head in his hands, a posture of no hope. 'Great,' Phoebe thought sarcastically.  
  
The same Elder who had made the prosecution's brief but powerful case stood up and addressed Cole. "Well, it is quite simple, really. The prophecy stated quite clearly that the youngest Charmed one would die at the hands of a mortal on the date of the incident. This would set into motion the transfer of her powers to her more reliable and mature sisters, thus guaranteeing the success of the Charmed ones against The Source. Instead of the weak Power of Three, it would be a strong Power of Two."  
  
Phoebe almost choked. So, this was a moral attack on her? Cole was probably as mad as Phoebe, if not more. Unlike Phoebe who continued to sit on the stand without emotion, Cole voiced his rage.  
  
"So, what you are telling me is that based on your opinion of Phoebe's free-spirited attitude, she deserves to die?! That is absurd! Who the hell do you think you are to-"  
  
'The Powers That Be' cut him off. "Demon, the Elders did not make the prophecy. The prophecy has been known since time began- it was determined by fate. Do not take your aggressions out on them or else this case will be over before you even start."  
  
"Yeah, well, he didn't have to make those comments," he mumbled under his breath and went back to looking at his notes for something, anything that could help. But his hope was diminishing rapidly. He was losing and he knew it. But then, and idea hit him, and it just might work. "Excuse my ignorance, but is there any way that fate can be tampered with or that fate and destinies can be changed? Especially in regards to the Charmed ones?"  
  
"Yes, demon," replied the Elder. He had to admit he was curious as to where the demon was going with this idea with that cocky grin on his face. "If a premonition is had that in some way warns one of the incident, then it was meant for fate to be changed in that circumstance."  
  
"So, let me get this straight," Cole said, standing up. His heart was pounding- he could almost taste victory, but it was still just out of his reach. "If, hypothetically speaking, Phoebe had had a premonition of the rape before it happened, it would had been perfectly fine for Leo to interfere, correct? It would have been his duty to do so, am I right?"  
  
"Yes, I suppose so," the Elder said. 'Checkmate,' Cole thought and flashed a smile at Phoebe to let her know everything was ok.  
  
"Well, then, If I may, I would like to present the defense's main argument; Phoebe did have a premonition before the incident, so, therefore," Cole's voice got louder and full of authority, "It was Leo's duty to save Phoebe!" He paused for dramatic effect, letting it sink in. "So, let it be my turn to say, The defense rests."  
  
A muffled squeal came from the rows of seats behind the defense table. Piper was crying tears of happiness and could hardly control her excitement. Leo had even picked up his head to watch, and even had a glimmer of hope in his eye. The lead Elder was stunned.  
  
"Uhh, er, objection!" he yelled.  
  
"Like I said to the demon," started 'The Powers That Be', "there are no objections in cases such as these. From the evidence the defense has produced, it is obvious the whitelighter did nothing wrong. If you had not been excessively proud and arrogant, Elder, you could have presented more evidence to argue the defense's. But, you do not have the opportunity to do so. Therefore, the whitelighter is hereby reinstated with all of his powers. His charges will remain the Charmed ones. He will also be granted permission to heal the youngest Charmed one as a sign of our apologies for this mishap. This case is officially over. Blessed be." And, with that, the blinding light blinked to nothing, leaving everyone momentarily speechless.  
  
Piper broke the silence by jumping off her seat and into Leo's arms, crying hysterically. Phoebe also came down from the witness chair and embraced Cole and Prue. The Elders stood there, still staring at the spot where 'The Powers That Be' were, as if they thought they had all been dreaming and 'The Powers That Be' would come back. They didn't.  
  
* * *  
  
The first thing Leo did when he got back to the manor was heal Phoebe. She laid down on the couch and looked up at him. He gave her a smile and went over, placing his hands above her whole body. As the light from his hands radiated, he moved them up and down, across her body, taking care to make sure each and every cut and bruise was healed. After he knew Phoebe was getting better, Cole said, "Hey Leo, watch your hands there, buddy." It was definitely the right time for a joke. It lightened the mood considerably.  
  
"Yeah, Leo, I second that. No offense, Phoebe," Piper added with a smirk on her face. Phoebe also responded with a smirk, but went immediately back to concentrating on the good feeling washing over her. She hadn't felt so good, so peaceful since it happened. She was almost sad when Leo didn't have anything more to heal, but brushed that feeling aside.  
  
"Thank you so much, Leo," she said and gave him a hug, knowing that it would never be enough to repay him for all he just did for her.  
  
"Hey, no problem. I have to thank you too, Phoebe. Your magickal visions got me my job back."  
  
"No, I didn't do anything," Phoebe smiled over at Cole. "He worked the magick."  
  
"I say this calls for a party," Prue said. She glanced over at Piper who was still hanging on Leo. She hadn't let him out of her sight since the trial. "But how about we order pizza or something, because I don't think we will get you into the kitchen long enough to make us anything."  
  
Piper smiled sarcastically back and gave Leo a big, long kiss, just to annoy Prue. Prue laughed at her and walked over to the phone. "What does everyone want on their pizza?" she asked, choosing to ignore PIper and Leo's now more excessive display of affection. They, of course, did not answer, but Phoebe sat up and tried to decide.  
  
"Uh, maybe mushrooms, onions, and black olives," she said with a grin.  
  
"Eww, no way," Piper said, unlocking her lips from Leo. "That's disgusting! Pick something normal."  
  
"Hey, that is normal," Phoebe argued. "And anyways, this party is supposed to be about me, so I get to pick."  
  
"Guys, we can get more than one pizza," Prue said. Phoebe and Piper shrugged, giving up the fight.  
  
* * *  
  
After they had all filled themselves with the pizza of their choice, Phoebe, Piper, Prue, Leo, and Cole all congregated in the living room to watch some TV. Phoebe, however, felt herself nodding off. Cole also noticed.  
  
"Come on, honey, time for bed. I'll shimmer us up there," he said.  
  
"Oh, what?" she said as she semi woke up. "Oh, ok. Goodnight everyone," she yawned, sending a wave in the general direction of her sisters and Leo. Prue and Piper got up to give her a hug and a quick kiss on the forehead each.  
  
"Sweet dreams, baby," Prue said.  
  
"Yeah, sweetheart, sleep tight," Piper added.  
  
Phoebe lazily nodded and wrapped her arms around Cole. He shimmered out of the living room and into Phoebe's room. Cole laid her carefully on the bed. She immediately went into a deep sleep; the first deep sleep since it happened. Cole took a moment to watch her sleep- she looked so angelic. He decided to take off her jeans and top so that she could be more comfortable. Cole gingerly rested his nimble fingers in her stomach and took the snap in his hands. Slowly and gently, he unsnapped it so he would not wake her up. He repeated the process with the zipper.  
  
In the haziness of her dreams, Phoebe felt her pants being unzipped and taken off. Her mind immediately jumped to the attack. Suddenly, she sat straight up and decked Cole across the jaw.  
  
"NO! Get away from me! Stop! No! Please stop!" she wailed over and over, curling up into the fetal position and squeezing her eyes as tight as they could go.  
  
Piper, Prue, and Leo burst into the room. The found Cole laying on the floor stunned and Phoebe curled into a tight ball on the bed, rocking back and forth.  
  
"Phoebe! What's wrong?!" Prue screamed to be heard over Phoebe's moans. Phoebe wouldn't answer. Instead she started humming an unrecognizable song.  
  
"Uh, I don't know," Cole said as he got up and rushed over to Phoebe's side. "I just started to undress her for bed and she freaked out."  
  
"Phoebe?! Listen sweety. It's just us. Calm down," Prue said. "Look at me, Phoebe, look."  
  
Phoebe slowly stopped humming and let her eyes slowly open. She was relieved to see Prue and Piper's faces looming over her. Behind them, she saw Cole and Leo, also both staring worriedly at her. Immediately, she realized what she had done and what had happened.  
  
"Oh, I am so sorry Cole," she cried. When would the insanity stop?!  
  
He wrapped her in his arms, trying to control her shivers. "It's ok, sweety. I understand. Sshhh. Don't cry. It's ok. I understand," he murmured into her hair. She couldn't believe her lack of self control. She knew then that even if Leo had healed her physical wounds, he could never heal her emotional ones. And, because of that, it would never be the same again. 


	4. An Ending The Spiral

Phoebe shut her eyes in terror and stayed as still as she could in her bed; a bed she once found rest and comfort but now only found pain and anguish. Her senses were working overtime and her chest felt as though it was being sat on. Her throat started to constrict and if she actually had nails that she didn't already bite off from a nervous habit, there would have been long nail marks in her palms from such a tight fist. Little specks of light dotted the insides of her eyes because they were so tightly shut. Her jaw hurt from clenching it so hard. Her head hurt. Her legs hurt. Hell, everything hurt. Phoebe hurt both physically and mentally. Slowly, Phoebe made herself relax a bit, but of course not completely. She could never relax completely. Never. Phoebe was already mad at herself for sleeping; she hadn't let herself truly sleep for the last month because, if she did indeed let herself sleep, nightmares such as the one she just experienced would plague her mind, body, and spirit. Phoebe feared that another nightmare would kill her instantly, just as the incident was killing her slowly... painfully...  
  
The Incident...  
  
Everybody told her not to call it that anymore; that she should call it 'rape' because that's what it really was... but how could she call it rape if she wasn't really sure that's what it was?!  
  
'I could have stopped it, maybe even prevented it, if I had wanted to,' she cringed at the new wave of guilt to wash over her. Guilt, in the last few months or so, had been prevalent in every waking hour... sure she could forget about it now and then, but it was always there in the back of her mind, just like...  
  
The nightmares...  
  
God, the nightmares. How could she forget? They all started out the same; just Phoebe and her attacker staring into each other's eyes coldly. His eyes seemed to burn into hers and just when Phoebe finally gets the courage to look away, he always knocks her down with a right hook to the left temple. That's where the dreams alter. Sometimes it is a very detailed and real reenactment of the actual incident, complete with Phoebe waking up with that unique smell still lingering in her nose. Other times it is a totally new experience, equally horrifying but usually in a different location or different way. No matter how different each dream was, however, each left Phoebe with an intolerable amount of fear, pain, and agony.  
  
That fear, pain, and agony were still entrapped around Phoebe's heart as she struggled to relax her muscles. She snuck a glance at Cole who was still sleeping next to her, unaware of his girlfriend's anxiety attack. Phoebe had to hold back a tension filled, bitter laugh; everyone knew she had been having these nightmares but no one, and she meant no one, knew just how bad they were. If they had any clue at all, they'd put Phoebe out of her misery themselves rather than let Phoebe dwell over her own suicide as she had been since the nightmares had started.  
  
As carefully as she could, Phoebe positioned herself so she could easily get out of her hell people called a bed. She didn't want to wake Cole, however; he would ask her what was wrong and she had a feeling that if she told him everything, he would just feel disgusted with her and she didn't want that- she needed what little support he could offer. As she shifted her body to sit up, Cole's arm sneaked across her chest in a protective hold. Phoebe's eyes bulged with fear. All that went through her mind was her dream was reality and her attacker, not Cole, was in the bed with her. The tightness returned with full force in her throat and her chest, especially where his arm lay, seemed it was being compressed. Phoebe couldn't breath. She could hardly take it any longer. It couldn't happen; she couldn't let it happen. Finally, a tiny drop of courage sped through her veins, causing Phoebe to break from her frozen state to crouch in the fetal position and scream for, basically her only hope, her sisters.  
  
"Help me!" she cried, her fear returning tenfold. Still, she fought on. "Prue! Piper! Help!" she screamed again. After trying a third time, Phoebe could not find her voice, thus making her totally susceptible to her attacker.  
  
"Phoebe," he whispered harshly in her ear, causing her to tense up even more. He gripped her tighter and shook her slightly, only adding to the fear. In fact, the fear quickly turned to dread. Her sisters weren't coming. She was alone. It was going to happen again. She could have stopped it.  
  
"Phoebe, stop it!" he whispered again harshly in her ear. Oh God, he could read her thoughts. Phoebe was beyond freaking out. She let her body go limp; why fight the inevitable? Why put herself through the mental anguish of thinking she could be saved or that everything would be ok? It can't be ok again... why fight... he has won...  
  
"What the hell is going on?!" said a voice that was accompanied by the light being turned on. For a second, Phoebe thought the voice belonged to Prue, but quickly snuffed the thought. It couldn't be.  
  
"Phoebe?!" Wait, that sounded as though it was Piper... No, it couldn't be Piper...  
  
"I don't know!" her attacked exclaimed, though his voice seemed to morph into Cole's. Nevertheless, Phoebe kept her eyes closed tight. "I just put my arm around her and she started freaking out. She must be having an other nightmare." He turned back to Phoebe and, with his hand, brushed some hair out of her face gently. "Phoebe, honey, it's me, sweetheart. I'm here. Prue's here. Piper's here. No one else but us," he soothed.  
  
Phoebe slowly and hesitantly opened her eyes. As soon as she saw the three instead of her attacker, Phoebe let all of her fear leave in her tears. Her body, racked with sobs, was engulfed in hugs from her family.  
  
* * *  
  
Phoebe popped another caffeine pill, washed it down with her double espresso from 'Starbucks', and stared at the computer screen. She hadn't let herself even get into a bed since that last nightmares two days ago and no one in the manor seemed to notice or, better said, if they had noticed, they didn't care; no one cared, not even Phoebe.  
  
With an other click of her mouse, Phoebe was logged into her favorite message board. Lately Phoebe felt more content with the faceless screen names than with her own family. While she was there, Phoebe could almost forget about her problems and fears for a few moments- and those few measly moments were almost sacred to Phoebe. A smile played on her lips as she typed a reply to a funny, absurd post. Suddenly the smile and typing stopped as a hand grasped Phoebe's shoulder and was replaced with intense fear.  
  
"Hey Pheebs," Piper said, glancing down worriedly at her younger sister. Though she didn't let Phoebe know, Piper was worried to death over her- she just couldn't bring it upon herself to bring up the subject.  
  
"Oh, hey Piper," Phoebe replied after her heart returned from it's sudden trip to her toes. "What are you doing up?"  
  
Piper did a double take at Phoebe's question. "Phoebe, it's eight o'clock in the morning!" PIper responded, the concern prevalent in her voice. 'Busted,' Phoebe thought. Her sense of time had been messed up since she stopped sleeping. "How long have you been up?" Piper asked, though didn't know if she wanted the answer.  
  
"Oh, since about six o'clock," Phoebe lied and Piper let it go with a sigh; they both knew she was lying and had been up all night, but not did not want to confront the problem, aka Phoebe.  
  
Piper opened the refrigerator and peered inside. "Do you want some breakfast? I'll make you something."  
  
Phoebe put her hand to her stomach. Should she eat? Every time she had eaten in the past few days, she usually got sick to her stomach... but she also felt terrible and weak due to the lack of sleep and food and thought that maybe some food could give her somewhat of a boost. "Yeah, I guess, but make something small, ok? Thanks."  
  
Piper sighed again. She had this strong, almost overwhelming, urge to make a huge, gormet breakfast and force her sister to eat all of it just to spite her but, of course, that in some way would bring up the problem which they all tried so hard to ignore. 'Why?' Piper asked herself and was instantly surprised when she realized that was the first time she had ever asked herself that question. Piper was in complete and utter shock; she had always knew that everyone in the manor ignored the problem and did their best to avoid any reference to it, but never really thought why. This fact bothered her- it bothered her a lot. Was it because they thought that somehow, by ignoring the problem, they were keeping Phoebe from reliving it? She was reliving it every night in her dreams! And what about-  
  
"What are you going to make?" Phoebe asked, interrupting Piper's train of thought, though Piper had heard enough of the conversation in her head to know she had to confront Phoebe.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Piper asked after a deep breath. She knew she had to be there for her sister and this was the only way she could think of to start.  
  
Phoebe froze in terror again. She knew what her sister was trying to do, but she also knew she didn't want to burden Piper with her problems; she was going through enough for all of them. Thinking quickly, Phoebe tried to deflect the question. "Talk about what? Breakfast? I'll eat whatever you make." Phoebe held her breath in anticipation of whether or not her sister would buy and accept her obvious diversion.  
  
Piper sighed yet again. She knew what Phoebe was trying to do and made a mental decision to press on. She had to help Phoebe. "Come on, Phoebe, you know what I meant."  
  
Phoebe also made a decision- continue to act dumb. "No, what?!"  
  
"Never mind," Piper sighed. She didn't want to push Phoebe if she didn't want tot talk about it. 'Damnit!' thought Piper. That was exactly what Phoebe wanted her to do. She walked over to Phoebe who was shutting down her lap top and put her hands on her hips. Phoebe turned and her heart sped up a bit.  
  
"What?" she questioned the seemingly pissed off witch. Maybe continuing the 'dumb' act would ward her off...  
  
"Phoebe, you know what I mean," Piper said, pulling out a chair and sitting close to her sister. "You need to talk about what happened and what is happening and what will happen if you don't!"  
  
Phoebe felt herself grow abnormally and unnecessarily mad Wasn't this what she had wanted? To have someone actually confront the problem and talk to her? They why was she so angry? "Piper, don't. It's my problem, not yours. Just leave it be." Why did she say that?  
  
"Well, you're making it my problem now!"  
  
"And that is the problem! It shouldn't be burdening you!" Phoebe could feel tears stinging her eyes, so she shoved back her chair and stormed out of the room. Her sudden departure left Piper in the room, frozen in a temporary shock, but soon she snapped out of it and followed suit. "This conversation isn't over, Phoebe!"  
  
"Yes it is!" Phoebe spat back bitterly.  
  
"No, Phoebe, it's not. It's pretty obvious that you are messed up over this and-"  
  
"Oh, so not only do I have a problem, but I am messed up as well? Oh, gee, thanks Piper. You really helped. I am so glad we had this conversation," Phoebe screamed at Piper, but instantly asked herself why she was being so defensive.  
  
"Stop twisting my words around, Phoebe," Piper growled back. The argument progressed into an all out screaming war for a good ten minutes until Phoebe broke down suddenly in tears.  
  
"Stop it! Just stop it, damnit," she sobbed. Caught off guard, Piper forgot her anger and just listened. "I can't do this any more; I can't do anything anymore!" Phoebe then preceded to tell Piper everything she could, including facts about the actual incident that she didn't even tell the police. She finished with a sob on Piper's shoulder. Piper instinctively wrapped her sister in a comforting hug and found herself crying along with Phoebe.  
  
Prue walked into the room and had to do a double take. She hadn't seen Phoebe show this much emotion since the trials. "What's going on?" she asked, tentitively sitting down on he couch next to her sisters. Piper opened her mouth to explain the massive amounts of mascara running down her and her sister's faces, but Phoebe turned to Prue first, oddly calm.  
  
"Oh, nothing, just having a good cry," she explained, trying to make light of it. She couldn't let Prue know what she had just told Piper- it was too much and she knew Prue would step right into mothering mode. Phoebe avoided a glare from Piper, suddenly dreading the next few moments; Piper was going to talk, she knew it.  
  
"Yeah, that's far from it," Piper said in a cracked voice.  
  
"Then what is it?" Prue asked, but she had an idea of what it would be; she just couldn't believe one of her sisters actually brought the subject up.  
  
"Oh, stop being blond when you so clearly aren't," Phoebe snapped, suddenly bitter again. What was wrong with her? "You know damn well what we were crying about, but don't worry- it's over." Phoebe jumped up from the couch and started to walk out of the room, but turned around slowly as she heard Piper's angry voice.  
  
"Like hell it's over, Phoebe. It's just the beginning and you're gonna need us to help you though it."  
  
"Don't you think I know it's just the beginning? That's why it's so damn hard; it's not even close to being over. It's just going to get harder before it gets better and I think, no I know I won't be able to take it. Why bother?!" This time Phoebe successfully left the room, which left her sisters behind to dwell on her words and some of their own.  
  
* * *  
  
Phoebe peered into the empty bottle of Jack Daniels and could see dimly the distorted images of her room through the curved, dry bottom. The distortion may have been partly accredited to the said curved bottom of the bottom, but it was mostly due to the fact Phoebe was dunk off her ass and high on her pain medication. When she tried to get up from her bed, Phoebe tripped on nothing in particular and fell flat on her face. She laid there in pain and shame. So this was what her life had boiled down to...  
  
She had let him win and that was that. Phoebe could feel herself spinning, no diving out of control, but couldn't do a damn thing to stop it. She knew she needed help, but she also know she didn't want it. Phoebe sighed, hiccuped, and struggled to get up. 'Want' and 'Need' were two totally different things. Phoebe 'needed' to get help before it was too late. She shuddered. Was it too late already? She couldn't be so sure...  
  
* * *  
  
Cole shimmered tentatively to Phoebe's room and glanced around; he didn't want to scare Phoebe more than he had already in the past few months. He glanced around a bit, finally concluding Phoebe was not in the room. He walked around the bed, however, and was taken aback; there, lying on the floor, was Phoebe with a bottle of JD still in her hands, passed out. He shook her a bit and though she stirred a bit, Phoebe didn't wake up. Cole organized his thoughts and decided he had to pick her up. He did so, an carried her to the bathroom, laying her back down on the cold tile floor on her side. Then, Cole sat on the toilet next to hr and sadly stared at her face.  
  
Why was she doing this to herself?  
  
His thoughts were interrupted when the door to the bathroom door opened and Prue started to walk in.  
  
"Oh, sorry-" she stopped, noticing Phoebe on the floor and the sad look in Cole's eyes. "What the hell happened?" she asked as she crouched down next to her sister.  
  
"She drank herself into an oblivion," Cole shrugged. "She passed out."  
  
Prue looked up at Cole in shock and shook her head. Why was she doing this to herself? To them? "Leo!" she called as she positioned Phoebe on her back.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" It was Cole's time to ask. Prue looked at him as if the answer was obvious.  
  
After she realized Cole didn't understand her logistics, she explained. "I'm calling Leo so he can heal her. Then we can talk to her about this once and for all," she said, glancing up as Leo entered the already cramped bathroom with Piper close behind.  
  
"No!" Cole said with a certainty that shocked everyone, including himself. "I think she needs to feel the full consequences of her actions without supernatural help. You drink yourself sick, you deserve to be sick. End of story."  
  
"I agree," Prue changed her mind, though still too worried to be surprised that she had actually agreed with Cole. They both returned Phoebe to her side, just in case. Cole agreed to stay and make sure Phoebe's condition didn't worsen.  
  
As Prue followed Leo and Piper out, Piper voiced her confusion. "What the hell happened?"  
  
Prue sighed. "She drank until she passed out," she stated with a mix of anger and sadness. Suddenly, the anger overruled and she stormed down the hall towards Phoebe's room with Piper and Leo close behind. When inside, Prue took out her rage on Phoebe's dwindling collection of pain medication, caffeine pills, alcohol, and other various materials hidden throughout Phoebe's room. Piper and Leo joined in and they all searched in silence until suddenly, Piper stopped cold. She held a photograph as far as she could from her body, though couldn't take her eyes off it. She didn't want to believe what it was or what it meant.  
  
"What's that, Piper," asked Prue, curious. Piper only could respond my holding out the photo for Leo and Prue to inspect. It was a picture of him... Phoebe's attacker.  
  
"What the hell does she have this for?" Piper screamed her fear. Prue shut her eyes and shook her head, fighting off tears.  
  
"I don't know and I don't want to. Get rid of it," she said and held out the plastic bag that held all of the contraband items they had collected from Phoebe's room.  
  
Finally, they were content that there were no more other dangerous contraband and walked out of the room in silence and filed toward the bathroom. They came upon Phoebe, throwing up in the toilet with Cole holding back her hair. Prue noticed the incredible sadness and fear in her eyes and she had to admit it scared her. She turned and ran all the way to her dark room, the scene still visible in her mind.  
  
* * *  
  
As Phoebe opened her eyes, she saw Prue, Piper, Cole, and Leo looming over her. Her head felt as though it was splitting in two and the like was like needles going through her eyes. It was probably the worst hangover she had ever had.  
  
"Phoebe, we need to talk," boomed a voice that echoed in her head painfully. She couldn't really distinguish who exactly said it, but still groaned a reply, hoping they would all just leave her alone. "Phoebe!" came the voice again, louder than ever. Phoebe shut her eyes tighter in pain and tried to turn over, though it hurt too much to move. The voice (it started to sound like Prue's now) was persistent still. "Phoebe, I am just going to get louder and louder until you answer me and agree to talk."  
  
Phoebe shut her eyes even tighter. Couldn't they see she was in no condition to 'talk'? The best she could probably give would be a few groans and mumbles. Why were they pestering her? Slowly, she opened her eyes again. "I'll talk later," she somehow managed to mumble and shut her eyes again. Her own voice slammed throughout her head.  
  
"No, we need to talk now," Cole said, picking Phoebe up to a sitting position. Phoebe almost cried in pain. "I know you're hung over pretty damn bad because I was with you all night an saw first hand how smashed you were, but we are not going to let you live this one down. You did this to yourself, Phoebe, and we want to know why."  
  
All Phoebe wanted to do was lay back down, curl up into a ball, and hopefully sleep out this headache, though somewhere in her disoriented mind, she knew her family wouldn't let her. Suddenly, she felt a warm sensation come over her and her headache somewhat subside. She slowly opened her eyes just in time to see Leo raise his hands; he had healed her just enough so she could be somewhat coherent. 'I guess I can't get out of this one,' she thought and slowly opened her eyes, sat up, and faced her family.  
  
"Phoebe, can't you see what you are doing to yourself?" Prue growled out of both anger and fear.  
  
Piper shook her head. "Phoebe, you can't do that to yourself; you're letting him win."  
  
"He's already won!" Phoebe groaned. She laid back down, defeated. Like she had said, she didn't want to even think about it, yet that's exactly what they were making her do. Phoebe felt herself almost wishing Leo would 'unheal' her so she could focus on the physical pain rather than the mental anguish. The realization of the thought hit her hard; she was spinning out of control and Phoebe didn't know if she could stop herself.  
  
* * *  
  
Prue, Piper, Cole, and Leo were all sitting in the conservatory; they had given up trying to talk to Phoebe when he was in that state and decided to let her sleep the remaining hangover off before their next attempt.  
  
"Do you think we did the right thing?" Piper asked into the deafening silence.  
  
"Who knows," Prue sighed. She had never felt so hopeless in her life.  
  
suddenly, from upstairs, there was a large clatter. The four glanced up towards the ceiling as if they could see through the plaster to identify the noise.  
  
"What the hell?! Where's my damn codeine?!" Phoebe screamed down the steps in a cracked, groggy voice.  
  
"It's gone. Go back to sleep," replied Cole bitterly, staring at his shoes as if they were works or art.  
  
"But I need them, damnit!" replied Phoebe, even louder this time.  
  
"No, you don't! Go back to sleep," Cole called up again, trying to be as calm as he could, though his insides were being torn apart. This was not the Phoebe he loved, the Phoebe he gave up half of himself to be with... He had to remind himself that the Phoebe he loved was somewhere inside that body, trapped and just as scared as he was. That was the only thought that kept him sane. Little did he know, Prue, Piper, and Leo were thinking the same thing...  
  
* * *  
  
Phoebe's head jerked up sharply and she looked wildly around; she had fallen asleep in her Psyche class and had had a nightmare (or daymare... whatever). As she looked around, her heart pounding in her ears, Phoebe noticed everyone in the room was staring at her with stupid smirks on their faces.  
  
"Are you ok, Miss Halliwell?" her professor asked snidely. "I'm sorry I woke you. Care to share with the class your seemingly disturbing dream so we can, perhaps, decipher it?"  
  
Phoebe stared her teacher down as her emotions turned from fear to anger and fury. She stood up, suddenly, and just walked out. She didn't need him- she didn't need anything.  
  
She jumped into the car and rubbed the tears angrily out of her eyes. She was in hell. Phoebe hadn't spoken to her sisters, Cole, or Leo since she had that terrible hangover, and she realized she didn't care. She had made herself feel so empty inside so it wouldn't hurt anymore. Phoebe started the car-- actually, it was Prue's (she had grabbed the keys this morning without asking... again, she didn't care) and pulled out into the highway. As she drove, she could slowly feel herself fall asleep. Getting a bit nervous, Phoebe opened the window and turned on the radio. Still, it did not help much. Phoebe could feel her chin touch her chest, but no matter how hard she tried, she could not lift it. An image of her attacker flashed in her mind, finally jerking her awake...  
  
It was too late...  
  
Phoebe Halliwell crashed head on with a tractor trailer. Her last thought before the collision was not of her family, but of the man who had ruined her life.  
  
* * *  
  
Prue stepped up to the podium, feeling numb. She could not bring herself to look at the big, glossy box that held what was left of her baby sister. Instead, she faced the sea of mourners present at the funeral of Phoebe Halliwell.  
  
Prue took one more deep breath and, while she fiddled with her necklace, read from her notes.  
  
"Let me begin by saying a car crash did not kill my sister, but a man did. Instead of dying instantly from internal bleeding and brain stem damage as the death certificate states, my sister died a slow, agonizing death at the hands of one man who, a few months ago, took the very essence of Phoebe away from us." Prue had to stop for a moment to refrain from breaking down, though she knew she had to press on and finish the speech for Phoebe's sake. "My sister was the victim of a horrible crime; not he obvious crime of rape, but the crime of murder for, you see, her rapist did kill her and that is the cause of my baby sister laying in that box." Her voice cracked and tears stained her notes. Prue knew there was no way she could get through her written speech, but she had to finish with something... "Phoebe was right when she said it would never be the same again..." Prue's voice broke yet again and a sob pierced the still air. She quickly composed herself, however, determined to finish at all cost. Prue looked slowly over to Piper, then, with an odd calmness, stared at the casket as though she was only talking to her baby sister. "Piper and I and anyone who knew Phoebe will never be the same again, but for our sake and in honor of Phoebe, we can't let the change kill us. You don't have to have premonitions to know it's going to be hard and that we are going to miss her more than we can even fathom right now, but we can remember how 'charmed' we were to know Phoebe and how blessed we were to have shared a small part of ourselves with her. Phoebe, we love you and always will and I hope, in heaven, you will win your battle." With that, Prue walked back to her seat and collapsed in a fit of tears.  
  
The End. 


End file.
